meep meep ma moo meep

Everything is so wrong la.

Its so stressful these few days and everything is problem, problem, problem.
I dunno whether issit just me or the situation but im gonna break soon.

just two days ago, monday training at sji, wang appeared back in action, in a superduper foul mood. he jianchaed us and just slapped us with 20 rounds of frogjumps. TWENTY. okay. okay fine his reason was coz we still arent jumping high enough. he doesnt seem to understand that the sji tramp is so not bouncy. but yes okay fine, reason good enough. we were found guilty. so off we went, twenty rounds of frogjumps. the only reason why im so pissed at him coz its like what? FIFTEEN days to comps, and he gives us this shit pt and we end up hobbling the next few days, not to mention jump and improve properly, what we are supposed to do right now and is most important.

and yesterday we were all hobbling around school, struggling to climb the stupid stairs. and after school we had trainig again. we just couldnt train properly. not up to usual standard. and what? it got worse today. ouching at every single step down the stairs, hurting horribly at our thighs. and my eyes were just not functioning today. it hurts like crap. everything was so glaring and blinding. i dont know whats happening to my eyes i dont wanna go blind. im scared.
and i ponned trainnig today. i really didnt wanna go there and do a rubbish tao with my specs on, and in the end getting hollered at and i really didnt want to risk my eyes by sticking contacts into it when its already hurting so much.

and i came home and started reading posts of.. encouragement on seniors blog.
its not that we dont want to do well. we are trying our best to strive. WE WANT THAT TEAM GOLD. we are really trying, and amanda is great she overcame the pain. really shot up there in the air yesterday. but today, she barely could walk. thinking of that is just so scary. she strived so hard just to be crippled. and being the most tolerant among us all, she almost cried today while walking. i dont deny we used to slack alot. but we are trying hard now. if we really didnt care about our taos we wont be distressed and crying and thinking more about it. and we are trainnig everyday with ever not done mountain of homework. okay we are all going through the same thing and we dont have the right to complain. i dont know. i think seniors are super. how do they go through everything.
and i dunno why we are so unlucky to have a discount of 4 months of trainnig.
wang is getting worse pmsing every single day. my mum is screaming at me everyday. i just need some quietness. everybody is so stressed out. we are wallowing in self pity, not wanting to disappoint seniors adds so much stress, piling homework stagnant projects make me wanna tear myself up, my dunno-what-is-happeneing-to-it eye makes me scared, and my mum cant ti liang me. Its so frustrating.
I know i still love gym, but its making me hate itself more as every day passes.
I really really dunno what more we need to and can do to help ourselves.

oh Wadever these are just excuses to slack.


sorry for whining so much, i just need an outlet for my feelings.