Stressed out. I never felt so much like my head was gonna explode before.
Today was an off day for good A level results. Finally had time to mug.
But in the end, i spent my whole day in the dance studio and at city hall. Its not anybodys fault im just irritated at the fact that i have no time to do anything i want. i dont even have time to do what i dont want -mug.
Gonna have to travel for 3 hours tomorrow, waste my precious time on the train and bus
March holidays is just packed with dance. every single day except tuesday.
I hate it when i get lousy results not because i didnt study hard enough but because i dont have the time to.
It irks me when teachers sigh and go "you better study hard for your block tests!" because its not like i dont want to, but i dont get the chance to.
I wished i had more time
wished i had less stuff to do
wished my parents could be more supportive
wished i was super smart so i could ace without having to study.
But wishes never come true.
Back to reality.
Im going mad (pun intended)
I have lots of stuff to do.
I need to mug like crazy.
Its a terrible week and its not gonna get better
March 07, 2010
Hello world, whoever still comes here haha.
Gosh its been an emotional week. Dramafest just ended. Had a great time working with everyone, towards one goal. Though the results weren't what we have had liked, we've really tried our best and i guess that's all that matters, as people always like to say. Can't say there wasn't any disappointment or regret, but what's done is done and we've just got to pass down the lessons learnt to the juniors and help them achieve their best. That said, I'm just really thankful to all the people who've slogged their guts out for this. I've been playing a minor role in this whole process and am already very tired out, imagine what amanda, sl, hanjing, the cast, the dedicated crew, the dedicated seniors have been through. Its really cool to see people putting in so much effort, putting in their best for this common goal. So i dare say that even though someone else may have won the material prizes, we have gained far more solely based on the amount of effort that we've put in.
That in mind, i just wonder what i do things for. Why do i put in effort and get myself so tired? What is my purpose? Who am i doing it for?
Nowadays I just dont find joy in anything that i do anymore. Dancing is probably the only one sole thing that I am truly happy doing. The others are just out of a nagging guilt or a responsibility. Sigh. Life still goes on though.
Stress has been piling on. Especially with the release of A level results. You just see too many people being 'okay'. but i dont want to be just okay. I want a scholarship but its so difficult, seeing my grades now. I need to work hard but i dont have the strength to. Blocks are in 5 days, I havent started studying. well done. Not to mention that i've been lagging this whole term.
Its going to be a terrible birthday. Its the first time i feel so sad that my birthday is coming because i know its going to be a lousy one.
Oh gosh i feel like skipping school tomorrow
Gosh its been an emotional week. Dramafest just ended. Had a great time working with everyone, towards one goal. Though the results weren't what we have had liked, we've really tried our best and i guess that's all that matters, as people always like to say. Can't say there wasn't any disappointment or regret, but what's done is done and we've just got to pass down the lessons learnt to the juniors and help them achieve their best. That said, I'm just really thankful to all the people who've slogged their guts out for this. I've been playing a minor role in this whole process and am already very tired out, imagine what amanda, sl, hanjing, the cast, the dedicated crew, the dedicated seniors have been through. Its really cool to see people putting in so much effort, putting in their best for this common goal. So i dare say that even though someone else may have won the material prizes, we have gained far more solely based on the amount of effort that we've put in.
That in mind, i just wonder what i do things for. Why do i put in effort and get myself so tired? What is my purpose? Who am i doing it for?
Nowadays I just dont find joy in anything that i do anymore. Dancing is probably the only one sole thing that I am truly happy doing. The others are just out of a nagging guilt or a responsibility. Sigh. Life still goes on though.
Stress has been piling on. Especially with the release of A level results. You just see too many people being 'okay'. but i dont want to be just okay. I want a scholarship but its so difficult, seeing my grades now. I need to work hard but i dont have the strength to. Blocks are in 5 days, I havent started studying. well done. Not to mention that i've been lagging this whole term.
Its going to be a terrible birthday. Its the first time i feel so sad that my birthday is coming because i know its going to be a lousy one.
Oh gosh i feel like skipping school tomorrow
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