meep meep ma moo meep

Argh i feel so unmotivated to do my work again. But its three more days to school reopening. 2 essays 2 letters more to go. argh. hahaha its pathetic how im so weak-willed. feel so loser-ish. i keep succumbing to my lazy self. excuses excuses to play another day off.
I've never tried wanting something so much that i could sacrifice everything else for it. And its gonna be pointless if i just say now that i shall try doing that, because it wont work if it doesnt come from my heart. I dont know whether its because there really isnt anything I want so much, or that i find excuses to do without it.
haha i remember talking to amanda sometime after comps, and she said something that hit me(:
we were just randomly talking about charlene. how hard shes training and how pro she is (yes go charlene! :D)
me:"i really hope charlene will win indiv gold"
amanda:"she will win because she wants it bad enough. like minyi"
:)
and that just hit me really hard. because i gave up my spot for competing this year without putting up a fight. maybe i could have overcome my injury but i guess i didnt want it bad enough.
so now i can jollywell pick myself up, stop whining about somebody, train hard and reach for my adiv dream (:
oh and amanda is still our little ball of proness :D

And go charlene, rachel, jessica, hairou, eleanor, enning!
I really hope they will win because they deserve it so much. so so much.
go NYgym!


and my rose wilted la =[